Presence of Absence
by Ledgeman
Summary: After barely escaping The Delta, Clementine finally has a place to call home along with AJ. Though, grief slowly begins to sink in, the reality of having failed to bring everyone back home, safe and sound. A boy who she had recently formed a connection with in particular. Coping with it starts to become harder.


A bright shade of orange was just beginning to illuminate the sky as the sun gradually made its descent. Clementine had assumed a comfortable position at the top of the steps, her crutches were messily sprawled out beside her. This afternoon brought a gentle current of air, which softly whistled through the trees in the courtyard before eventually brushing against the girl's face.

It felt nice. In contrast to how damn scorching hot it'd been today. Though, that wasn't completely why she'd been staring into space in near bewilderment since sitting down.

As the days began to slip by, Clementine found herself having more time to actually focus on the smaller things for once. Like the book she still needed to finish reading AJ tonight, the muck she had to wash out of her clothes. Time seemed infinite with how quiet things had gotten around here. It still felt weird, having more free time, a concept that never failed to perplex her every now and again.

It was still busy as heck, no doubt about that. Runs to go out on, crops to maintain, defences to keep in check. But at least these days they didn't need to worry about The Delta knocking on their door anymore. Or… worry about being alone out on the road, and all of the stressful baggage that came with it.

"Clem…? Clem!" Her shoulders jolted upwards in slight shock, an excited and bombastic sounding voice abruptly snapped the teenager out of her thoughts. Clementine glanced over to see AJ, running towards her with a big smile on his face.

"What's up, Goofball?" She perked up, beaming now. Seeing him this excited never failed to brighten up her mood.

The boy sprinted to the bottom of the steps, looking up to her now with an even wider grin. "It's almost done!"

"Huh?" Clementine raised an eyebrow, honestly confused for a brief moment.

"Your new proooo…? I think Aasim called it a…. progetic?" AJ muddled his sentence, trying to spit out a word that sounded somewhat comprehendible to the girl.

"Oh, right. The _prosthetic._" Clementine corrected him. AJ was harping on about this non-stop for a whole week. Maybe she could blame her forgetfulness on an off day. After all, it felt like her head was all over the place.

"Prosthetic." AJ repeated, it'd become a trend by now every time he mucked up a word. "Aasim said it should be ready tomorrow, Willy helped me too." It was obvious that AJ was on a whole other level of excitement when it came to building this thing for her. However, even Clementine had to admit that it'd be nice to ditch the crutches for once.

"Well, well. Now you got me curious _and_ excited."

The elation began to slowly wither from his face. The boy's eyes darted off to the side, it was pretty evident he was recalling something frustrating. "Kinda took longer than I wanted it to, I bet I could've done it faster by myself..."

"Why do you say that?" Clementine curiously prodded, breaking the sudden pause.

"Well, Willy and Aasim, theyyyy..." AJ dragged, reluctant on spilling the beans.

"Couldn't stop arguing with each other about the design?" Clementine butted in. She wouldn't put it past those two to get into a scuffle over something so trivial. It was pretty amusing to think about, actually. "Just a guess."

"Yep." AJ all but confirmed her suspicions.

Clementine couldn't help but snicker, following it up with a small eye-roll of her own. "Of course."

"Anyway, after we finish it, you can finally come outside of the walls with us like you used to, right?" He asked, returning his gaze to the young girl. She noticed a tiny semblance of hope reappearing in his eyes. It was clear how badly he wanted to help.

"One step at a time, kiddo." Clementine made sure to tread carefully here, the last thing she wanted to do was disappoint him. The harsh truth remained however, it was probably going to take a long time to get used to a prosthetic. Even if she did improve, her movement still wasn't ever going to be the same. The sooner she swallowed that hard fact, the easier it would be. "But yeah… I hope so, eventually."

"You'll be back on your feet in no time. I'll make sure." AJ remained firm in tone, as stubborn as usual, like nothing else in the world mattered other than getting this prosthetic built.

How much he wanted to see her walk again, it was cute. Clementine just hoped that when the new leg got fitted on, it'd work. Even for just a bit. If she got to see him smile, it'd be worth it. "What would I do without my little pro builder?"

"Good question."

"_Okaaaay,_ smarty." Clementine chuckled at his cheeky comment. "If your watch is done, why don't you head in?"

"Fine. I'll go check if Omar's done with the food. See you soon?"

"See ya soon." With that, Clementine's eyes followed the boy, a smile curved on her lips as she watched him scurry off past her before heading into the depths of the Admin building.

The girl's surroundings went quiet yet again. Clementine decided it was probably time to get up and follow suit. The day wasn't entirely over yet, so there were probably a few things left to do around here. Clementine reached over to grab her crutches, gently tucking each one under her arms and hauling herself into a semblance of an upright position. She began to swing and hobble towards the door AJ had just gone through.

After she was inside, the young girl nudged the door shut with her elbow. Everyone was probably congregating in one of the rooms for a late lunch today. Though Clementine found herself not all that hungry, to be frank… she was struggling to find a reason to head over. The girl's head slowly inched towards a corridor on her right, leading to a room she hadn't stepped foot in since… forever was what it felt like.

Was she ready to keep it that way?

Clementine swung herself forward, her crutches squeaked with each consecutive 'step' she took. Further down the corridor the girl went, until she came across the door. Clem stared the tattered piece of wood down, before finally pushing it open.

The room still had the same old fashioned charm to it, dusty shelved books lay there on the stands, just waiting to be read. Though she couldn't help but notice that some of the candles were still lit.

That was when her eyes glazed over on the lonesome piano.

As ridiculous as it probably sounded, Clementine didn't know why… even for a split of second, _why_ she expected to see him sitting there; almost anticipating his head to turn over, ready to unleash some fancy quips about her spying on him.

Memories, perhaps some of her best ones in Ericson. Were in here. Although she was reluctant, a nagging force in the depths of her being kept tantalising her onwards. Clementine edged herself towards the middle of the room, before taking the piano seat. With an uneven sigh, she hunched over and set her crutches on the ground.

The young girl blew on the piano keys, before a wave of dust particles spiralled up towards her face. She tilted backwards, coughing a little. It was horrible to see it in this condition, like some old relic. Then again, she didn't think there was much reason for anyone to keep the piano maintained, no one knew how to play except for him.

Stuck in the moment, Clementine just couldn't quite help herself. It was like the muscles in her hands worked by themselves, being pulled like a magnet. She lifted a finger, making sure she was gentle as to not alert anyone else. The girl pressed down on one of the keys, the faintest of smiles on her lips as a soft hum echoed throughout the room. At least it still worked. Why wouldn't it? After all, it hadn't even been that long.

The smile was quick to fade from her demeanour as Clementine's eyes unenthusiastically fell on the marking. _Don't… don't look._ She tried to force her eyes away somehow, but it was already too late.

_L+C._

It was still there, with the same 'potato' shaped heart carved around it.

The young girl began to feel it, a toxic concoction of emotions which were now bubbling up to the surface, threatening to tip over at any second. Her eyes began to burn, a sharp pain; followed by a damp feeling in her eyes. Tears were quick to mingle with her eyelids, drooling down until they splashed on the floor of the desolate room. Clementine's hands balled up into fists in her lap, teeth gritted in an attempt to ward back the sobs.

"Hey."

Clementine gasped in a small panic, trying her damnedest to quickly wipe away the tears that were dribbling down her cheeks. _Shit… shit._ She turned towards Violet, who was standing at the door now, stammering as she tried to formulate some kind of excuse. "Sorry, I - I was gonna meet you guys there. I just-"

"Needed some time alone? I get it. No need to apologize." Violet was quick in her attempts at not making this awkward. "I was… actually planning on stopping by with Tenn later, you kinda beat me to it."

"Didn't think anyone else came in here anymore." The one legged girl sniffed, averting her eyes to the one boot she had. Silence filled the room for a dull moment, one which both of the girls were itching to break.

"The candles, that you guys?" Clementine finally asked.

Violet smiled, crossing her arms as she leant up against the doorframe. "Tenn helps me light them."

Clementine nodded, grinning to herself. The girl looked back down at her own hands, twiddling her thumbs. "That's nice." It was cool to know they both still tended to place, regardless of how hard it was to come in here.

"Hey, so uh- I'm kinda not feeling the whole group lunch thing today…"

Clementine glanced over to Violet once again, unsure if the girl with the bandages was waiting on her approval to come in. Right now, she didn't mind all that much. Maybe some company would be good. "Y- you can hang here, if you want."

"If it's cool with you, I don't wanna intru-"

"No, it's fine. You okay to walk over?" Clementine asked, ready to help her if need be.

"Yeah- I got it." Violet spoke confidently, before slowly making her way over. Clementine could definitely tell there was caution in the way she strode, constantly taking care not to trip over any books or debris. The condition of her sight now made her reliant on others, Clem knew it wouldn't be preferable to Violet of all people. But since then, she seemed to be handling it okay. Probably better than most would.

"He loved this thing so much," Violet commented as she took her seat next to the one legged girl. "There were days where you couldn't drag him out." The blonde girl spoke again, trying to analyse the same features of the piano that Clementine had mere moments ago.

Clementine found herself silent at the remark, her mind beginning to meander again, like it had been all day. After a slight pause, Clementine found herself asking a question the other girl might not have been expecting. "You... didn't stumble up on me randomly, did you?"

"Might not have sight on my side, but... I can still hear." Violet's gaze found the other girl's eyes, trying to keep her comment light.

"You heard the piano?" Clementine felt like kicking herself, embarrassed at how pathetic she probably looked. _Please say yes._

"Not just that."

_Fuck._ The cat was out of the bag, despite Clementine's best efforts at hiding it. Violet was too perceptive. There was no use trying to dodge the topic anymore, she already heard her crying. So, what was the point?

Clementine inhaled, realising she could very well be digging a hole for herself here. Part of her just didn't care anymore. It didn't take any further prodding, she finally let loose. "I was fine for those first few days. I really was. Just... grateful to be alive, y'know?"

"I'm right there with you, Clem."

"I guess everything we lost took its time to sink in. Now it's all starting to hit me, how much I fucked up." It took everything Clementine had not to bust into more tears right then and there, saying all of this pent up shit out loud, it was even harder than _thinking_ it.

"What?" Violet spoke, tone akin to someone who was baffled.

"If I didn't get injured, maybe I could've helped him get Tenn across… done something to-"

"Clem. _Don't even._" Violet cut her off, rather stern-like, unwilling to let the other girl proceed with her tangent. "I'm not gonna let you do the self-blame bullshit to yourself. Been there, done that. It's not fun. Most of us are only here because _you_ came back, do you get that?""

She was right. Clementine knew it in her it did little to deflect how guilt-ridden she felt about how things went down in that escape. "This whole place… it's better than great, everything I ever wanted for AJ. I just- don't know how to let myself enjoy it… when _he_ isn't here to either."

"I think you should try to, because that's what Louis would want. If he was here, you and I both know damn well he'd want us all to be laughing instead."

"That's all he ever really wanted to do, wasn't it?" Clementine tried to blink away the wetness in her eyes, recalling every time he tried to make her laugh, it felt countless.

"He lived for that. Even if it drove me nuts... _half_ of the time."

"Just half, huh?" Clementine teased, managing to elicit the faintest of chuckles from Violet, it was nice to know that she missed the jokes too, even if she didn't enjoy them as much.

"You know what? Fuck it." Violet's demeanour took a sudden turn, the spark in her eyes became awfully grisly. It had Clementine confused for a moment, but the blonde was quick to clarify. "If we're gonna sit here and list off regrets. I might as well come clean too."

"Hm?" The sudden offbeat shift from Violet had caught Clementine by surprise to say the least.

"Think you can answer me something?"

"I'll sure try."

Violet's lips seemed to twist in an odd fashion, her glare trying to fix itself on anything _but_ the girl next to her.

"Do you think people change? Or just kinda… morph into who they were really meant to be from the beginning?" Moments like these with Violet didn't come so often, where she'd open up like this, about Minerva, no less. Clementine found her brain twisting and writhing for an answer.

"Trust me, last thing I wanna do is get all philosophical and shit... I guess I'm asking because-" Violet bit her tongue, almost as if she was straining herself to her very core to get her next words out. "The Minnie I knew would've died before she let anyone hurt her brother and sister, let alone try to hurt them herself." Clementine watched on as Violet's blank stare entranced itself at the floorboards. "I keep thinking on it… and, I still don't know if that's what The Delta turned her into… or, if that's who she just… _was._ Deep down."

"Which one would you prefer?" Clementine spoke, after a brief moment of silence.

Violet's dispirited stare managed to find Clementine as she twisted her neck to face her. It was a touchy subject, obviously… but one she had an answer for. "The one where those assholes turned her into what we- saw… on that boat. I'd… fucking hate to think she always had that in her... even before Marlon traded her off."

She didn't _know_ Minerva like Violet did... but Clementine was no stranger to meeting someone from the past, then finding out they were only a hollow shell of who they used to be. "If it's what you believe. Then, maybe… try to hold onto that?"

Violet hadn't reacted much at first, which left Clementine hoping that she hadn't screwed up. Nonetheless, the silence was getting too much to bear. "If that… even makes sen-"

"Y'know," Violet interrupted, her face noticeably lit up, which was a far cry from how she looked before. "If it's worth anything, I think you've been knocking it out of the park with the whole leadership thing."

"Seriously?" Clementine wiped her eyes with her sleeve, raising an eyebrow. "I think I've been kind of a wreck if I'm honest."

"Well, you're good at hiding it. That's probably when you know you're leading right." Violet stated, rather bluntly. To her credit, this must've only been the first time she'd caught the girl with the ball-cap out.

Clementine's eyes slithered down to her knees once more, a soft chuckle escaping her lips, one which could easily be mistaken for a gentle sigh if Violet wasn't paying attention. "What?"

"Nothing..." Clementine broke the silence, the smirk still stuck on her lips. "It's just- an old friend probably would've told me that too." She mulled for a moment, before realising she was letting her thoughts consume her.

"Anyway… we should probably get back to lunch. AJ's gonna kill me if I'm late." Clementine closed her eyes, sighing out as she massaged the bridge of her nose with her fingertips.

"Wouldn't wanna keep him waiting would we?"

"Thanks for… checking up on me." Clementine saw fit to say, she didn't realise it until now. But having someone to talk to about all of this really helped, in comparison to keeping it all bottled up. It was better. _Much_ better.

"Thank _you_... for, listening, and all that crap." The blonde returned her gratitude, rather awkwardly, but genuine.

"Still gotta worry about the people Aasim saw outside of the walls, and how we're gonna tackle it." Clementine leant over to grab her crutches, spewing out another horrid thought she had at the back of her mind for the last few days.

Violet didn't seem all too bothered, but she _had_ to be feeling at least _some_ kind of trepidation when it came to potentially repeating past mistakes. "Do you know how everyone else feels about it?"

"I'll know soon enough, I'm gonna call for a meeting tomorrow." Clementine spoke, still wary of the fact that there were people still around. Even if they weren't bandits... or The Delta. No doubt it was a risk to try and approach them.

"Then I say let's worry about it tomorrow, then."

"Yeah," As much as she wanted to stew over it, Clementine ultimately agreed. Besides, enjoying today didn't sound so bad either. "That sounds better."


End file.
